Dirty Rose
by KATTALNUVA
Summary: Ed gets a bad tip about the Philosopher's Stone, but his efforts don't end a total waste.


"I feel pretty… damn… stupid."

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist was in the middle of a wooded area a couple miles south from West City. Earlier today he had received an anonymous letter telling him to come here alone in the middle of the night in exchange for information regarding the Philosopher's Stone.

"_Either someone's pulling a prank on me, or Al was right and someone's setting me up for an ambush."_

Ed had been walking around in the woods for over an hour and hadn't seen anyone.

"If I don't meet anyone in the next five minutes I'm going to… wait…"

Ed looked over his shoulder and noticed the light of a nearby campfire.

"_Well, it's the only sign of life I've seen all night."_

Ed walked into the clearing and saw that four fires had actually been lit.

"Good evening Ed."

Ed almost didn't recognize the voice he heard come up behind him.

"Rose? What the heck are you doing here?"

"What, no how are you? No I'm sorry, not even a hello? I guess I forgot stupid men can be."

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't have time for this. I'm supposed to meet someone here in the woods for information on the Philosopher's Stone."

"Don't waste your time, I wrote that note."

"You? What, did you become an alchemist and learn some big secret since Al and I left Reole?"

"No, I just wanted your attention. We are alone aren't we?"

"If you don't have any useful information for me, then you're about to be."

"You destroyed my last hope for being reunited with my lost love, the least you can do is give me a little of your time!"

"You have five minutes."

"Five minutes isn't going to cut it Mr. Equivalent Exchange! You took something from me without giving anything back; your precious laws say that you owe me something of equal value!"

"I told you that you could stand on your own feet and make your own future."

"I already told you that's not enough."

"_Al was right… I should have just ignored the letter."_

It could have been Rose attaching the laws of alchemy to this situation, or it could have been that Ed felt a little guilty for causing her so much hurt, but something made him stay.

"Okay… what do you want?"

"All I want is an equivalent exchange. You took my hope, and I want something of equal value in return."

"What did you have in mind?"

Rose smiled, and if it weren't night Ed would have seen that she was blushing.

"Well… for starters I'd like to go for a swim."

"What?"

"You asked me what I wanted, and I just told you."

"You want to go for a swim? And you dragged me all the way out here to tell me this why? If you wanted to go for a swim so badly then why didn't you just go to the ocean or something?"

"Because you paying your debt was more important, and I hadn't really decided what I wanted until just this moment."

"How do you expect to go for a swim, we're in the middle of the woods."

"Can't you just use your magic powers to make a pool or something?"

Ed gave himself a facepalm.

"It's not magic, it's alchemy. And who do I look like to you, Santa Claus?"

"Well if you can't do it short stuff…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT STUFF?" Ed snapped.

"Like I said, if you can't do it…"

"Oh I'll make you a pool, it'll be the best damn pool you've ever seen!"

Using alchemy to make a pool was actually a very simple task. All Ed had to do was transmutate the ground, and then condense the air around him to make enough water.

"Impressive…"

Rose touched the surface of the water with her foot.

"Would it be possible for you to warm up the water, it's kinda cold."

"Oh for the love of…"

Heating the water wasn't a problem, Ed was just frustrated at wondering why Rose was making him do this stuff. She had every right to hate him, but why did she drag him out here in the middle of nowhere and in the middle of the night to make a pool for her so far from her home. He clapped his hands together, touched the ground, and suddenly the water was bubbling like a hot tub.

"Happy now?"

"Very…" replied Rose taking her foot out of the water "Care to join me?"

"What?"

"I asked you if you'd like to join me." she said beaming.

"I ugh… I… didn't bring any swimwear."

"Neither have I…"

Rose's smiled as her face turned pink, then for no reason at all she pulled her dress all the way up to her breasts, revealing that she was wearing black underwear.

"HOLY!"

"You like that, don't you?" she giggled "Well if you want it, you can have it."

Rose put her dress back down, but then she pulled her underwear down as well and tossed it at Ed.

"What are you doing?"

"Going for a swim, and you're welcome to join me if you want."

As Rose walked into the pool her dress floated to the surface of the water, and Ed could see the glimpse of her butt.

"Holy crap… It suddenly got very warm out here."

"I agree."

Ed wasn't at all prepared for what happened next. Rose pulled down one of the straps on her shoulders, exposing one of her breasts.

"_Oh my God… oh my God… oh my God… where the hell did this come from?"_

"What's wrong with you?" Rose giggled "You act like you've never seen an older girl naked before."

"I haven't…"

"Then let me help you make up for lost time."

For a little bit Rose just teased him, then she took the dress off altogether and tossed it out of the pool. Ed thought he was going to have a heart attack.

"Well what are you waiting for? An open invitation?"

Ed had always had his nose buried in alchemy books, and after his and Al's failed attempt at human transmutation his every thought had been focused on becoming a State Alchemist and finding the Philosopher's Stone. He never once thought about what girls looked like with no clothes on, so naturally he was having a hard time processing the sight of Rose's bare breasts floating on the surface of the water.

"What's wrong? Are you shy? Never skinny dipped before? Or is it because your reproductive organs as small as your legs?"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING A SHORT LITTLE BABY WITH A BABY DICK! I'LL SHOW YOU!"

It took Ed a full minute to realize that he had dropped his pants.

"Oooo… wow…" said Rose smiling with delight "So are you going to join me, or not?"

Having already shown a girl his penis for the first time in his life, Ed's mind just shut down and his instincts took over.

"_Doing something like this… There's no reason I shouldn't!"_

Without thinking, Ed tossed all his clothes off and jumped in.

"_Now I've got you right where I want you."_

Ed couldn't believe he was swimming naked in a pool with a girl he thought hated him. For awhile they just swam around and splashed each other, then Rose pinned him against the wall of the pool.

"I think we'd best get down to business before we both get too tired… I want you to make love to me…"

That was enough to get Ed to stop looking at her breasts.

"What?"

"Edward Elric, you were right. I can't keep living in the past that I've lost, I need to move forward. I need to learn to love another, I want that person to be you…"

"Wait, Rose… I can't."

"If this is about STDs, you don't need to worry, I've had myself tested and I'm as clean as a whistle. Or did you take some kind of required physical to become a state alchemist and they found something else odd besides your automail?"

"No Rose… it's not that."

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

Ed saw Winry's face in his mind's eye.

"Uh… no."

"Don't lie to me, I can tell…"

"Okay fine, there is someone else, but she's not officially my girlfriend."

"So… technically you have no strings attached."

"True but…"

"Just for tonight… Please?"

Having a wet naked girl rubbing her breasts against him was all the motivation Ed needed.

"Okay, I'll give you my first time… and I don't want to hurt you, but I need you to understand that I can't give you my heart."

"It means enough to know that you care."

Ed and Rose held each other in a sweaty naked embrace, making love for the better part of an hour, until finally…

"Aww… what did you do that for?"

"I can't get you pregnant." said Ed out of breath "It's hard enough just being a dog of the military at my age."

Despite the fact that Ed refused to expend himself inside her, Rose still sounded very satisfied.

"Party pooper... You are hard, I'll give you that…"

"Forgive my curiosity, but you demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I supposedly just deflowered."

"I read…"

"Well, you'll make a lucky man really happy some day."

"And you're going to have yourself one lucky woman…"

"Thanks, now what am I supposed to tell my brother?"

"Just tell him you got a bad tip."

"Oh, just tell him someone gave me a note saying they had information on the Philosopher's Stone and dragged me out here to the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night for no reason?"

"Well… I'll help you come up with a better excuse if you give me a baby."

"I'll come up with something."

"Dammit…"

**I know Ed and Winry were meant for each other, and I do not condone premarital sex or breaking the 7th commandment, I just couldn't get this short story out of my head, especially after the episode with Dante talking about making love to Ed in Rose's body.**


End file.
